Monday, July 30, 2007

Permission granted

It wasn't until I got married that I realised that at least in my maternal family there exists the 'inner circle' that I wasn't privy to until I achieved the status of being married. Within this 'inner circle' were both male and female members of my family who would often share 'non-veg' jokes, tease each other about their personal lives, make raunchy comments at the drop of a hat and pretty much discuss anything under the sun including the so called taboo subject of sex. It certainly doesn't happen on the paternal side of my family and DD's family and I don't know how common it is in other families in India. I realised that my aunts and uncles were friends and that they had a similar camaraderie amongst them as I had with my brother and cousins. It was good to finally be 'in the know' on the laughter and the chuckles that you could hear in each room.

I was happy to join the 'inner circle' and hear everybody else's stories but loath to contribute from my own personal experience. There was the inevitable teasing about my now active sex life but I always brushed it off with a smile though I have to admit I was always around when others were ruminating. After almost 5 years of being initiated into the 'inner circle' I should really have realised that I can expect anyone in my family to say anything. Needless to say I'm here writing this post because I didn't expect the following and burst into laughter thoroughly amused. Here's what happened.

In our family it is tradition for the woman to go to her mother's house for giving birth and to return to her married home 40 days after giving birth. We've been living with my parents since we moved to Singapore during the last phase of my pregnancy and finally moved out a couple of weeks ago when Squiggles was about 6 weeks old.

On Day 40, mom gave me the customary savouries and sweets alongwith some money for each of us. As I was walking out the door with DD, she called me back with a mysterious smile on her face and whispered in my ear "Today you should have sex with DD".

"I should?", I smiled back.

And she nodded vigorously, "Now you're allowed" and then followed with a caveat, "That is if you haven't already!"

And I burst out laughing. It was just so funny to hear my mom give me permission to 'do it'. Actually it was more like an order.

The next day I went back to see her and commented on how I was quite embarrased that she was giving me such advice. She said really sweetly that it was customary for aunts, sisters and friends to jokingly tease the girl as she went back to her married home after giving birth and since she was the only one here she didn't want me to miss out on the that bit of tradition. I believed her until I saw the naughty and at the same time shy glint in her eye.

You know, I love my family and I wouldn't have it any other way.

4 comments:

Moppet's Mom said...

Oh boy! If my mom said something like that to me, I'd just shrivel up and die, right there! :-)

Squiggles Mom said...

mm - you need to meet my family.. trust me embarrasment will fly out the window... sigh.

~nm said...

That was so..so..I'm even out of words to describe what I feel reading this! :D

I think its soo good that you can talk all this stuff with your mom and all! :D

But I guess like you even I would have been a bit embrassed and turned a shade of red :D

Squiggles Mom said...

nm - I didn't know whether to laugh or to go hide in a corner!