It's my second time at the gym post baby. My personal trainer hands me a skipping rope as part of my cardio session and announces '100'. Skips, he means. I'm not too sure I can manage even 20 but since I'm paying him I decide to give it a shot. 10, 18, not bad so far. Skip no. 22 oooppps... I can feel something. One little drop of water escapes. Skip no. 57.....the drops are changing to big fat drops.....Uh oh. Should I stop??? Skip no. 81....I better stop. This is fast getting worse. I just pretend that I've had enough and hand back the rope to him. I look down and there is a big stain down there! I just mumble something to the guy about muscles down there being weak. He nods understandingly, "You should do your Keigels". ?!!!? Hide me somewhere please.......... I carry on with the workout as if nothing weird has happened. Why didn't anyone TELL me that this is another price for being a mommy?
I'm lifting some heavy weights, doing a chest exercise. I'm looking at myself in the mirror when I realise my breasts look a bit wonky. It's as if my left breast has moved to the centre of my chest. I quickly readjust my bra and realise there are 10 other people in the gym and I have been walking around for the last 15 mins like this...sigh.
I'm bending down doing another stupid exercise. One moment there's nothing and the next second there it is, in all it's white glory. My breast pad! The one with the super adhesive. Lousy stuff. Never bought that brand again.
I'm doing a set of sprints to warm up. I bend down, hands on the floor, heads up, waiting for the go ahead to start. "You've dropped your pad", announces the ever-so-helpful trainer. What? Where? Again! It's lying there on the floor in all it's pristine glory. I quickly sweep it up and crush it in my palm and curse the pathetic excuse of an adhesive. I hide it in my hand and discreetly throw it in the bin as head back to the gym.
After a stressful back exercise, I stretch. Hands behind the back, hands clasped, strrrrrrrrrretch. POP! My bra has unhooked itself. Naughty little thing. I stumble backwards, careful not to turn around lest my fantastic trainer figures out why I'm walking out the door with a quick "I'll be right back". As I head out the door, he starts following me! "Are you alright?", he shouts. I nod vigorously, "I'll be right back". "Are you sure? Do you need any help?". Help!!! Noooooooooooooooooooo.
C'mon tell me I'm not the only one. Pllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeassssssssssse.