Publishing an old post in the draft box which I never got around to completing. I wrote this just as I was about to go back to work.
Things are going to change. For better or for worse, only time will tell. I start work on Monday. Finally, after 15 months away from the corporate world.
A lot of people ask me if I'm feeling excited and I think about it and the answer is no. It surprises me that I should think so. Getting this job took over 3 months. The whole interview process was tortuous and made more difficult by the fact that we were travelling and I had to do telephonic interviews. It's with a really good firm but I'm not too sure about the role. I decided to try it out so that I could see how both Squiggles and I would adjust to me being away from home. And also, with the current economic environment, there just aren't enough good senior roles going around.
I don't think I am too worried about S. I will drop her off at my mom's before I leave for work (she lives 5mins away). My maid will finish off her house duties and head over to look after S in the afternoon. And I will bring them both back with me in the evening. I have left her for 4-5 hours at a stretch before and she's been ok. This will be different in that it will happen day after day and she will realise that I'm going to be gone for a large part of the day, everyday.
I guess why I remain uncertain is that despite a really tough start to mommydom, which was worsened with my PND, in the last couple of months since I snapped out of it, S and I have been having loads of fun. She's a fun child, full of energy and always wanting to do things. As long as she's busy, she's happy. She has been crying only when ....... (this is where it ended).